Borrowing vs Having something new to say

Oh, Bloggerdom.

(*Siiiigh*)

What-EVER are we to do with lil ol' me?

I'm fighting off the inevitable, with a silly straw and a spork. They are very poor weapons, I know. It really REALLY isn't going well for me.
I'm thinking I need to stop trying so hard to escape it, and start cultivating it.

Unlike my garden.

It's a MESS. Waaaay too many weeds, and I think the aloe vera plants have mutated... they're everywhere.

But.

I digress.

(Hope your minds didn't wander into a gutter somewhere.... no, not THAT type of garden, ... sheesh, I'd have to change my rating, wouldn't I?)

{Eh, maybe it's just my mind that wandered... lol}

I just want to know, what the hell. Why can't I get through that I'm not a constant worrier to someone who apparantly LOVES to worry?

It's not enough that the worrying is fraying my nerves, but .... I actually appreciate his concern. It's morever, when I am OK, just DANDY, ...

--FINE, even--

that I'm asked, "What's wrong?"
Then my mind starts to wonder....

AM I OK?
Yes.

Ok....

Where do I really stand in all this? Not ON this, I know how I feel about my Brit, Mr. Grin; it's more a question of asking him,

"Am I getting through to you, or are you stuck on one idea?"

Let me clarify.

Dears, I've said this before...

Don't try to be someone else for me... and don't push your idea of ME unto ME.

That is, if you only show someone one side of your personality long enough, that's who you are to them. So that when you get to know someone, THAT'S who they know, THAT'S who they relate to...even if it isn't the WHOLE picture. This is especially tricky if you get to know someone while you are still trying to get things sorted.

Then something changes, and you start to act just like YOU... no ideal smiles, no hiding the emotional roll or toll you may be on, ... sometimes, you wanna cry, and rant, and be sad...rather THAN sparing them for their sake, you are naturally you....THEN things get complicated.

So, why do we ALWAYS have a tendency of trying to convince someone that they are acting "strange, different,... distant" ? Why not just, oh , I DON'T KNOW, listen?

Realize that sometimes, it's not them that's acting strange or different.

You just... didn't really want to see that part of them before.

I liked this phrasing I read, although it was in Spanish and I've had to translate it. I believe that it was originally phrased in English anyway...

SIX SMILES

You have six smiles.

-Who does?

You.

Didn't you know that?....

-No...

You have six smiles...

One for when something genuinely made you laugh,...and one when it is just as a courtesy.

One for when you feel embarrassed,... and one when you are laughing at yourself.

One when something has surprised you,... and one for when you think of...

-Of what?

Of him.

My special smile...