Monday, June 27, 2011


Is a wonderful thing...

Is beautiful....

Is crazy and amazing all at once...

Makes you soar, makes you weep, makes you laugh for no reason....

Other than being ultimately happy.....

How happy?

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<This Much!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So that you never want to come down from that high.
And even when things go haywire...
Even when things go wrong...

Even when plans don't go, well... as planned, and my mind is foolish...

Stupid, silly, happy, amazing love...
Always finds a way of making things right.

Because it's real.
And perfect.

Even when I don't always feel that way.

So.... thank you.

OK. I promised to get some sleep... lol yeah. Just had to say this tonight.
I miss my smiling sweetheart... want to see your smile again soon.

Ok, goodnight.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Borrowing vs Having something new to say

Oh, Bloggerdom.


What-EVER are we to do with lil ol' me?

I'm fighting off the inevitable, with a silly straw and a spork. They are very poor weapons, I know. It really REALLY isn't going well for me.
I'm thinking I need to stop trying so hard to escape it, and start cultivating it.

Unlike my garden.

It's a MESS. Waaaay too many weeds, and I think the aloe vera plants have mutated... they're everywhere.


I digress.

(Hope your minds didn't wander into a gutter somewhere.... no, not THAT type of garden, ... sheesh, I'd have to change my rating, wouldn't I?)

{Eh, maybe it's just my mind that wandered... lol}

I just want to know, what the hell. Why can't I get through that I'm not a constant worrier to someone who apparantly LOVES to worry?

It's not enough that the worrying is fraying my nerves, but .... I actually appreciate his concern. It's morever, when I am OK, just DANDY, ...

--FINE, even--

that I'm asked, "What's wrong?"
Then my mind starts to wonder....



Where do I really stand in all this? Not ON this, I know how I feel about my Brit, Mr. Grin; it's more a question of asking him,

"Am I getting through to you, or are you stuck on one idea?"

Let me clarify.

Dears, I've said this before...

Don't try to be someone else for me... and don't push your idea of ME unto ME.

That is, if you only show someone one side of your personality long enough, that's who you are to them. So that when you get to know someone, THAT'S who they know, THAT'S who they relate to...even if it isn't the WHOLE picture. This is especially tricky if you get to know someone while you are still trying to get things sorted.

Then something changes, and you start to act just like YOU... no ideal smiles, no hiding the emotional roll or toll you may be on, ... sometimes, you wanna cry, and rant, and be sad...rather THAN sparing them for their sake, you are naturally you....THEN things get complicated.

So, why do we ALWAYS have a tendency of trying to convince someone that they are acting "strange, different,... distant" ? Why not just, oh , I DON'T KNOW, listen?

Realize that sometimes, it's not them that's acting strange or different.

You just... didn't really want to see that part of them before.

I liked this phrasing I read, although it was in Spanish and I've had to translate it. I believe that it was originally phrased in English anyway...


You have six smiles.

-Who does?


Didn't you know that?....


You have six smiles...

One for when something genuinely made you laugh,...and one when it is just as a courtesy.

One for when you feel embarrassed,... and one when you are laughing at yourself.

One when something has surprised you,... and one for when you think of...

-Of what?

Of him.

My special smile...

Thursday, June 9, 2011

I can't get enough poetry...- or- WHEN did I become such a sap?

AH, Poetry. It's cheesy; it's classy. It's sometimes a little crassy....especially in lymeric form.

But you know what, Bloggerdom?

I would take a bet... nay, I would gander that any of you ALL would not mind it ONE EENSY WEENSY BIT to get a love poem from someone you care about. And more so, when you are still in a "lovey dovey" mood, or the inevitable:

"Oh-MY-GOD--Too-damn-cute-that-I-might-hurl" stage. That's the stage where everyone around you yeah. You guessed it: if they don't love ya, they'd feel like punching you.

Mr. Grin (see last post) , as I will refer to my sweet Brit, has me feeling this way...mmm... by the way, I LOVE his voice. Let's just say, he's from Liverpool, and well... haha.... I would never have thought that anything better than the Beatles could have come from that part of England. That, AND a pretty kick ass soccer team. OH. Oops. Sorry!
He'd correct me for that.

And I love how he calls me "hottie".


I get this email saying that he loves me, but it's in this form:


It's Amazing...

How one person can change your life

How a smile from you can erase everything bad

How life seems less scary when you're holding my hand.

It's Phenomenal...

How fate brings two strangers together

How I survived before I knew you

How, whenever I'm with you it's like a great new adventure.

It's Beautiful...

How love can be so unconditional

How learning about you is like reading my favorite story.

How loving you is so easy.

And I'm so thankful...

That I'm able to know this



Beautiful person

And because...


I know, it's not original... hell, he even admits to it! SO I'm not being duped into thinking that the poem is just the result of his heated imagination thinking of me... but...

And there's always a 'but'....

He does put in an effort.

Hmmm... I think I'm going to have to reevaluate my previous skeptism about men who use poetry to woo a woman... since I've already been 'wooed' , he just sweetens the deal.

Ciao, ma bella cosas.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Okay... :-}

Haha, yeeeeaah. You can guess, Dear Bloggerdom...

Since I'm grinning like a fool.

I have that feeling.

That very funny, serious feeling....

Deeep down inside.... as a
Woman ... I neeed this... oh my.

My, my... dammit.

Why does it feel so good, and yet worries me endlessly?
Why, oh why do you keep doing this to me, Cupid...
You can be such a bitch.

You made me feel... and now ... what?


Floating up in the clouds...
Endlessly daydreaming...


There's a good reason for the "grr."
IF you know... yeah. If you know...
The road has been paved with tears and fears...
It hasn't been easy to let go , and yet...

I can see that your eyes... sparkling... looking so lovingly into mine...
So filled with the love, reflecting that inner warmth...
Still have questions.

You should be worried.

YOU and I both.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Oh, Cinco de Mayo, upon us once again...

Hello, my precious Bloggerdom. How's it? You holding up okay?

I know-- I haven't called, or texted... I haven't even sent a card lately... very inconsiderate. I apologize; truly.
You are like my small bundle of joy that I've watched develop and grow,... and finally rebel and decide to move out on your own, maybe get a few tatooes and body piercings, and end up owing over $10,000 in debt. It's easy to see why we only associate on the holidays. But somehow, I still love you. Why? It's just ... so hard to let go. :-}

So let's eat and drink, be merry and celebrate.
Cinco de Mayo!
Hey hey! .....Corona?


I'm not Mexican. Let's just set the record straight now... I don't even remotely look like any of my guy's second-cousins-once removed. I have not had any 'Mexican in me', as one crass and rather tackless man had suggested, and neither do I want to. Well, hmm, unless... there's someone beautiful I know who's part Mexican, if the timing was right, decided.... well, *ahem*.

'Nuff of that... can only lead to trouble.

Which I'm good at. GREAT, actually.

Pretty awesome.

I digress though...

This holiday, though, has nothing to do with Mexico and a celebration of life. It has more to do with yet another excuse for the AMERICAN (U.S.) public to go drinking, eat spicy foods, and dance until our legs fall off... or very near to it. Which I have NO problem doing at any time! :)
It's been a while since I've gotten out and enjoyed the nightlife on any made-up/trumped-up holiday; I may very well get hammered. But on the plus side, I have also been doing very well losing weight and keeping it off. I looked at photos of myself from 2007 and could not believe how different I look now. It's one thing to hear someone else say it, but when you can really see the weight difference for yourself, it can be a shock.

Spicy dishes are not the easiest for me to stomach, but as long as I don't go overboard, I like dishes with cumin, black pepper, ginger, jalepeno, and cilantro-not really a 'spicy' spice, but careful not to overdo it either- so that even boring chicken breast can be delicious. They really 'push things along the digestive track', if you get my drift. And that's one of the keys, besides exercise, that helps it melt off... you have to be nice to your insides too!
So, I'm doing all that I can to make sure that the 'long overdue removal of extra babyweight ' , (L.O.R.E.B. for short?) does not make a re-appearance. This Self site has been very helpful to start my track on losing those first stubborn 10 pounds, and I'm down a couple dress sizes. Getting slowly back to my weight from my twenties is much harder said than done, now that I am in my thirties (firmly fixing my mind towards looking good for July) , but the work is worthwhile. I feel stronger, healthier, more willing to get things done or just go out and do them.

Smaller me + more energy = even MORE energy when I go dance tonight! Woo! :D

Please, drink responsibly if you decide to go out tonight... if you stay home, have an extra one for me.
One tequila,... two tequila... something 'bout the floor? *KONK!*